Weekly Rant 19 May 2017

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So I have got a new puppy who has been taking up all my time and I have been a bit slack on the blog.

Body Set Weights, Hunger, Stalling and general long term keto rant.

My turtle like speed of weight loss continues I could get discouraged by that but the line is headed in the right direction and I am so sick of worrying about it, although of course I am still worrying about it.

I have been dairy free for 5 days now and I am beginning to adjust to it, but if all the experts are right about not overdoing the fat it should help. Having said that my weight has not dropped yet but it is also that time of the month so it isn’t fair to judge yet and as people say ‘what you do this week you see on the scales next week’ so I am sticking with it. I could easily throw in the towel seeing no change after 5 days but I am going to try and be tenacious.

Tenacity is something I need to work on, I get all excited by an idea then when it becomes hard, I tend to chuck it in, not always but often. I can see that pattern now and am actively trying to change it – amongst the other 450 things I am trying to change. So I am sticking with dairy free for now.

When I started this journey and first went into ketosis I thought all my prayers had been answered. I could still eat, weight was falling off me, I felt fantastic – full of energy and most of my niggling complaints disappeared. I was and still am a fanatic about keto. But this massive slowing of weight loss is a real struggle mentally. I still have heaps more energy, ailments have still disappeared, I am still losing weight – slowly yet so much of my zeal has dissipated. It is like a near death experience for the first few days everything seems so inconsequential then the day to day of life pulls you back into its flow and three months later you are back to bitching about the bus timetable. I feel this is what has happened to my keto.

I still have a long way to go and another 17kgs / 37 lbs to my first ‘goal’ weight. So I am redoubling the fight, reminding myself of what I want and why. I have felt resentful about cutting things out but now I am thinking I can cut stuff out for 17 more kilos, then I can add back in some stuff – even though keto is for life, weight loss is only for a set time, lets deal with the weight loss then we can enjoy some of the finer keto things in life. I am not saying i can go back to fries and donuts – never I am afraid, I know and accept that, but I can go dairy free for another week and I can limit myself when I need to – I am in control – some of the time……Which leads on to the topic of hunger.

Again when I first started the miracle of my hunger disappearing was one of the best benefits, it had never happened to me before I was always hungry. Over time my hunger has come back and now I have read it is a common cycle of keto that you lose your hunger while you are fat adapting but then it comes back. Well mine is currently back with vengeance . I believe it is my body trying to get back to my previous set point, I know people argue that set points are a myth but I have not been below this weight in 8 years, my first goal weight is a weight I was about 13 years ago. I believe my body is resisting further weight loss due to my historical weight. I have to accept this is part of the journey and that it will move again. Remind myself that the hunger is a battle I need to fight when I can. You can’t always fight it and 2 nights ago I overate a lot – all keto – but overeating the same, I just dusted off and kept going, it happens, I am not perfect and never will be. I used to binge a lot now I binge rarely that is a step forward. I used to eat vast quantities of sugar, now I eat almost none that is a step forward. I used to treat food as a friend now I don’t that is a step forward.

I look in the mirror and I still see myself the same, it is very hard for me to see and accept the change in my body size, as I am still the same shape. I know it is there, my clothes tell me it is there but my brain still struggles, some days worse than others. I am reminding myself of all these steps forward I am making, changes are happening, I am being tenacious – so lets all keep fighting the good fight despite our age, hormones, hunger, set points, stumbles we can do this. xx

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